Imran's Story

I was born in Pakistan and came to England when I was five years old. At age 9, a member of my family sexually abused me. My father was a strict orthodox Muslim and I couldn't tell him. I told my mother when I was 11.

The person who was abusing me was a close family member and it would have torn the family apart, so she just told me to steer clear of him. It was only when I reached puberty that I realised it wasn't my fault, it wasn't self inflicted and that I wasn't asking for it.

My first consenting gay sexual contact wasn't until the age of 22 and I enjoyed it. When I finally came out, I refused to feel guilty anymore. My parents just wanted to keep their community reputation intact - the only reason you're frightened of coming out is because of izzat (family honour).

I got married at the age of 25 because I was disillusioned with the gay scene. I didn't tell my wife about my sexuality until 2 or 3 years after she came from Pakistan. She said she still loved me and wanted to be with me. My wife and I are great friends, there is a great trust between us.

Before I got married there were times when I had unsafe sex. But since I have been married and now that we have a baby on the way, I have always practised safe sex.

I was born and brought up a Muslim but I believe in the view that religion is flexible and depends on how it is interpreted and manipulated. People may think, according to their religion, that I am at fault for being gay. We are not here to judge other people, not if we are true Muslims, in fact we should be asking for mercy from God ourselves.

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